The courageous, active aspects of self-compassion

firefighter low res

Compassion is not just cosy, gentle and receptive; it can be fierce and protective. In this sense, it has both masculine and feminine aspects. Like yin and yang, we need both in order to maintain balance.

Self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff says that the yin is its comforting, soothing form, where we validate our pain and acknowledge our difficulties. The yang is the more motivating form of self-compassion, where we protect ourselves or provide for othersโ€”generating feelings of fierceness and strength.

“Courage and compassion are two sides of the same coin. Compassion without courage is not genuine. You may have a compassionate thought or impulse, but if you donโ€™t do or say anything, itโ€™s not real compassion.” ~ Daisaku Ikeda

Think of the fire-fighters who dive into burning buildings out of compassion for others. It wouldnโ€™t be so compassionate to sit back and watch and think, โ€œPoor them!โ€

Think of a mother lion with her cubs. One moment sheโ€™s tending to them, nursing them and showing them care. Yet if the lives of those cubs are threatened, sheโ€™ll stand up and fight. It wouldnโ€™t be so compassionate to feel pity for the hungry attacker.

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